Gods and Demigods Reads the Lightning Thief
by Venus5-Gryffindor
Summary: The gods of Olympus invites Annabeth and her friends to read PJO and HoO books. Well... that's about it, but I suck at summaries so just read it. A/N: This is my very first fanfic so if you found anything you want me to correct please tell me. Disclaimer: I DO NOT own PJO or HoO (as much as I love to). All rights belong to our awesome myth master, Rick Riordan.
1. Gods invites demigods to Olympus

_Prologue_

Annabeth was walking back to her cabin at Camp Half-Blood when her friend Rachel – who is the camp's Oracle – ran up towards her.

"Annabeth, Chiron wants us at the Big House." Rachel said breathlessly.

"Okay but did he tell you why?" Annabeth asked.

"Nope he just told me to come and get you," Rachel answered. So they walked to the Big House together. When they got there, they saw that the rec room was crowded with senior counsellors. Annabeth noticed that the camp activities director, Chiron was sitting in his wheelchair in a corner talking to Annabeth's friends, Piper McLean, Jason Grace and Leo Valdez. She made her way over to them with Rachel in tow.

"Ahhhhh... Annabeth, Rachel," Chiron greeted them when they neared. "I was just about to tell these three what's going on when you came over so I'm just going to wait until a couple more people arrived." As soon as he finished, the door to the Big House banged open revealing Nico, and Thalia and Grover. They made their way over to Annabeth and her friends. Once they reached them, Chiron stood up from his wheelchair and the body of a centaur formed. When it was fully formed, he stamped his front hoof and silence fell amongst the crowd.

"Now that everyone's here," Chiron began, "I would like to tell you that everyone in this room is invited to Mt Olympus by the gods." As soon as he said this, there was a bright flash of light and everyone found themselves in the throne room of Mt Olympus. 

"Finally, you've arrived." A cheery voice said behind them. Everyone all turned and saw the gods sitting in their thrones smiling down at them. "Now let's start reading, shall we?" Apollo asked in the same cheery voice.

"Yes we should," Zeus agreed. He waved his hand and seats appeared. "But first why don't you introduce yourselves since a quarter of us might not know you."

Annabeth looked around, then stepped forward and said, "Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena and architect of Olympus." Athena smiled as she glanced down at her daughter and noticed that she was looking a bit down.

"Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus and Lieutenant of Artemis," Thalia said with a hint of hatred in her voice when she said her last name. Zeus frowned at her then just nodded.

Nico went next introducing himself, "Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, known as the ghost king." His father looked at him and just smiled at his son in a way that suggests that he might be a bit insane.

The Stolls looked up at their father and grinned, "We're Connor and Travis Stoll, son of Hermes and probably the best thieves in camp." Hermes laughed when he heard the last part and grinned back down at his sons.

"Clarisse la Rue, daughter of Ares and Drakon Slayer," Clarisse said. Ares grinned and gave a loud whoop as his daughter introduced herself then yelled, "GO CLARISSE!"

"I'm Will Solace, son of Apollo," Will said brightly. Apollo beamed at his son and cheered, "And is one of the best archers in the camp."

"Piper McLean, daughter of Aphrodite," Piper said. Aphrodite looked down and saw her daughter holding hands with Jason and began to squeal delightedly.

"Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, praetor of the Twelfth Legion Fulminata of Camp Jupiter," Jason said kneeling in front of his father. The gods (except for Hera and Zeus) glanced down at him their eyes widening and began to mutter amongst themselves. Zeus glanced down at his son and boomed, "Rise, my son. You need not kneel whilst you're with the Greeks."

Leo grinned and said in a rather loud voice, "I'm Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus, fire master, and Supreme Commander of Argo II." Hephaestus looked down and grinned at his son when he heard his introduction.

"I'm Katie Gardner, daughter of Demeter," Katie said, looking up at her mother. Demeter smiled warmly down at her daughter and asked, "How are the flowers going?" All the gods groaned and Katie answered, "They're growing pretty quickly."

Lou Ellen stepped forward and said, "I'm the daughter of Hectate, Lou Ellen." The gods looked down on the girl frowning then smiled.

"I'm Rachel Dare, I am a mortal who carries the spirit of Delphi therefore I'm the camp's oracle," Rachel said. Apollo cheered but was hit on the head by Artemis who was glaring at him to be quiet.

"And I'm Grover Underwood, lord of the Wild," Grover said nervously. Dionysus looked down at the satyr and smiled.

Chiron stepped forward and opened his mouth to start introducing himself when Poseidon lifted his hand up and said, "No need to introduce yourself Chiron. Everyone here knows who you are." Then Poseidon frowned and asked, "Where's Percy? Where's my son?"

Everyone looked at one another, and Annabeth spoke up, "Lord Poseidon, do you think we can tell you after we finished reading? And Lord Apollo, what exactly are we reading?"

Poseidon frowned as Apollo replied in his usual cheery voice, "You'll see." And a flash of light appeared in front of the campers and eight books appeared. Apollo then asked, "Who wants to read first?"

"I will," Chiron answered and grabbed the very first book in the pile, looked at the front cover and read out the title. "_**Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief**_." All the campers gasped and Annabeth looked shocked. Chiron flicked to the first page and read, "**I Accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher**."


	2. A Pre-Algebra Teacher Gets Vapourised

**A/N: Hey guys, just letting you know that because school's about to start here in Australia that I might be only be able to update once or twice a month so... yeah...**

**Anyway Happy Reading :D**

_Chapter 1_

"_**I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher**_," Chiron read.

When the demigods heard the title they laughed and Nico said, "Only Percy could think up a title like this one." The others agreed.

**Look I didn't want to be a half-blood.**

"Who does?" Thalia grumbled.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now.**

"Yeah, that's such a good advice," Nico said sarcastically.

**Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, try to lead a normal life.**

"That's actually a fairly good advice," Annabeth said, looking surprised. She saw the gods looked at her questioningly and said, "Well most of Seaweed Brain's advice are a bit weird and they never make any sense."

**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary.**

"No shit Sherlock," Nico said, causing Lou Ellen who was sitting next to him to slap him on the head.

**Most of the time, it gets you killed in , nasty ways.**

The gods all looked down at the demigods who've all seemed to become interest in the pattern on the floor.

**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think this is fiction, great. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this happened.**

**But if you recognise yourself in these pages – if you feel something stirring inside – stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you that, it's only a matter of time before **_**they**_** sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"It's a bit too late for us now." Piper said. All the demigods nodded there heads in agreement.

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

"Wow, like I didn't know that. It's written on the front cover," Leo said with a hint of sarcasm.

Everyone else just rolled their eyes.

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding school student at Yancy Academy,a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Yep," Leo said popping the _p_ at the end.

"Probably one of the most troubled kid we know," Annabeth grinned.

"Not as troubled as us, I hope," Travis said gesturing to him and Connor.

"Well I guess that's an exception, 'cause you two and Leo probably have some sort of problems with your brains."

"Hey!" the said boys whined.

The gods laughed and Annabeth gestured at Chiron to keep reading.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

**I can start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan – twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"That doesn't sound so bad," Annabeth and Athena said together.

**I know – it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

At this, Annabeth and Athena both huffs whilst everyone else laughs at the two.

**But Mr Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

**Mr Brunner was a middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning had and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armour and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"Is it just me or is that you Chiron?" Jason asked holding hands with Piper causing Aphrodite to squeal.

Chiron just smiled and read on.

**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**

All the demigods except for Jason, Piper and Leo laughed.

"Well he's definitely wrong," Thalia said with tears of laughter. "Trouble is his middle name so he can't avoid it even if he tried." At this the others laughed.

Once they've all calmed down Chiron continued.

**Boy, was I wrong.**

"Damn it, I think like Kelp Head," Thalia groaned.

Leo and the Stolls started laughing until they caught the muderous glare Thalia was giving them.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but I got expelled anyway.**

Everyone laughed.

Apollo, Hermes, Leo and the Stolls looked at each other and said, "Cool! We schould try itsome time!" Artemis used her bow to hit both gods on the back of their heads whilst the Stolls and Leo got slapped by Piper, Katie and Lou.

**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when wetook a behind-the-scenes tourof the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**

"LOL!" The Stolls laughed.

Leo exclaimed, "I wish that could happen to me. That'll be so amazing."

Apollo and Hermes looked at each other and began to plan.

**And the year before that... Well, you get the idea.**

"NOOOO!" Apollo whined. "We want to hear more."

Hermes nodded vigourously and said to Apollo, "Let's talk to him the next time we see him and try to get out all the 'troubles' he did at school." Apollo nodded but they were both hit on the head by Artemis' bow.

**This trip I was determined to be good.**

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit,**

"Wait, did you just say Bobadafeet?" Leo asked.

Piper said, "No, he said Bobofit."

"LOL! Bobadafeet!" The Stolls laughed, "Hey everyone meet Bobadafeet!"

Hermes laughed whilst Apollo sang, "Nancy Bobadafeet smells like stinky feet!" They were both hit on the head by Artemis, who was muttering, "Boys."

**the freckly red-headed kleptomaniac girl,**

"Does kleptomaniac means she's insane?" Travis asked.

"No, kleptomaniac is someone with an irrational urge to steal in the absence of an economic motive," Athena answered.

"Dad, does that mean she could be our half-sister?"Connor asked jokingly.

Hermes laughed at the idea and said, "Definitely not."

**hitting my best friend, Grover, in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**

"EWWWWW!" Aphrodite squealed. "Who wants to get hit by a peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich?"

Grover sighed, "And this is where I come in."

**Grover was and easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got fustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard.**

"Well... I was twenty-eight back then."

"What?" Leo said. "Why are you in sixth grade if you're twenty-eight years old?"

"I'm sure it'll be mentioned in the book."

**On top of that, he was crippled. He had a note excusing hi from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs.**

"I'm sure he has muscular disease in his legs," Thalia said sarcastically.

Everyone laughed.

"Hey!" Grover yelled indignantly and hit Thalia on the back of her head with his reed pipes.

**He walked funny like every step hurts him,**

"You try walking with feet and shoes that can come off," Grover huffs.

**but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him runwhen it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Did you realize that you could've blown your cover?" Dionysus asked the satyr.

"Wow, Dionysus, you're actually listening to every word Chiron is reading out?" Ares asked, looking surprised.

Dionysus looked at him and said, "Of course. My life is not just wine, parties and wine magazines you know?"

Everyone laughed at him.

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do snything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death-by-in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"That sucks," Poseidon muttered under his breath. "The sea hates to be restrained."

Zeus who was sitting next to him gave him a curious look and asked, "What did you just say, brother?"

Poseidon just smiled and said, "Nothing brother. I didn't say anything." He gestured Chiron to keep reading whilst Zeus looked at him curiously.

"**I'm going to kill her," I mumbled.**

Ares chanted, "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!" But fell quiet when he caught the glare Zeus was sending him.

Apollo, however, was singing under his breath so that only Hermes could hear him. They both chuckled but soon stopped when their heads felt a little bit sore from Artemis hitting them with her bow.

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**

"Hey Goat Boy, you forgot ketchup," Clarisse pointed out.

"Shut up Clarisse," Grover told her sounding very annoyed.

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.**

"Yep, it's definitely okay for her to throw sandwiches at you, Grover," Will laughed.

"**That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

"**You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens."**

"**Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

_What are you getting yourself into, Seaweed Brain?_ Annabeth wondered.

**Mr Brunner led the museum tour.**

**He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.**

**It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

Rachel looked at Annabeth and smile when she saw that she had a dreamy look on her face when Chiron described the architecture in the art museum.

**He gathered us around a four-metre-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us about how it was a grave marker, a **_**stele**_**, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was really interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs Dodds, would give me an evil eye.**

_Alecto, _Hades thought, smiling to himself.

Hestia caught her brother smiling to himself and surprised everyone by asking, "Brother, why are you smiling?"

"Hmmm..." Hades looked up and answered, "Nothing sis, nothing at all."

**Mrs Dodds was this little maths teacher from Georgia, who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the school year, when our last teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

"That's likely," Nico muttered under his breath causing Katie and Lou to look at him weirdly.

**From her first day, Mrs Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was the devil spawn.**

"No, that's Nico," Katie said jokingly. Everyone laughed when Nico sent a death glare her way making her cower in her seat. Hades smiled at his son's '_death glaring_' achievement.

**She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after school detention for a month.**

"Sucks to be him!" Clarisse joked. Everyone except for Poseidon and Annabeth laughed.

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old maths workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't thing Mrs Dodds was human. He looked at me real serious and said, "You're absolutely right."**

"Way to blow your cover, Goat Boy," Jason said sarcastically. Grover glared at him and huffed not saying anything.

**Mr Brunner kept talking talking about Greek funeral art.**

**Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the **_**stele**_**, and I turned around and said, "Will you **_**shut up**_**?"**

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

Everyone laughed.

Katie turned to Chiron and and said, "Bet you didn't like that Chiron?"

Chiron laughed heartily then continued to read.

**The whole group laughed. Mr Brunner stopped his story.**

"**Mr Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?"**

**My face totally red. I said, "No, sir."**

**Mr Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the **_**stele**_**. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids right?"**

"Really, Chiron," Poseidon asked, "you just had to ask him about that?"

Chiron said innocently, "Well, I had to know if he was paying attention in my class."

"**Yes," Mr Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because..."**

"**Well..." I racked my brain trying to remeber. "Kronos was the king god, and –"**

"GOD?" roared Zeus. "Poseidon, you need to teach your kid the difference between a god and a titan."

"He's only twelve then Zeus, with absolute no clue who he is and besides he's still learning," Poseidon reasoned.

"I agree with Poseidon, brother," Hestia said from her corner. "And besides he knows the difference now."

Zeus huffed and gestured Chiron to continue reading.

"**God?" Mr Brunner asked.**

"**Titan," I corrected my self. "And... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead.**

"Wow... How can he be so stupid?" Athena asked. "Mistaking a rock for a baby."

Apollo suddenly spoke up, "I've got a song for that." He opened his mouth to start singing when a silver arrow caught him in the shoulder. "Ouch... What was that for?" He asked glaring at his twin.

"That was for you to shut up," Artemis said, glaring back at him.

"But... but... I'm your older brother, little sis," whined Apollo.

"You're not older than me 'cause we're twins. And... DON'T. CALL. ME. LITTLE SIS. EVER. AGAIN. Or I'll shoot another arrow at you," Artemis threatened. Apollo cowered in his seat as Artemis glared at him. "Boys," she muttered, gesturing at Chiron to continue, who was looking at the twins amused.

**And later, when Zeus grew up, he trickedhis dad, Kronos into barfing up his brothers and sisters –"**

"EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!" Aphrodite said, "That's disgusting!"

" – **and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**

"Wow... he just explained about the war in just a couple of sentences," Athena said, looking impressed.

**Some snickers from the group.**

**Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids'."**

"**And why, Mr Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"Busted!" Leo, Travis and Connor sang.

"**Busted," Grover muttered.**

"We think like you Goat Boy," Connor said to Grover, whilst Travis and Leo laughed at them. Katie, Lou and Rachel slapped them on the back of their heads to get them to shut up.

"**Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red that her hair.**

"LOL! Miss Bobadafeet is turning into a tomato!" Travis laughed.

"We should saw off her head and give it to one of those tomato ketchup making companies so that she can be an ingreadient for the ketchup," Connor said.

Everyone laughed at the two imagining Nancy Boboadafeet's head smashed up in a jar of ketchup.

**At least Nancy got in trouble, too. Mr Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**

"I actually don't, you know," Chiron said, when he saw Leo opening his mouth to ask hime. Leo pouted and looked away. "It's just a normal for a centaur hear things from a long way away."

**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

"**I see." Mr Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, and guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

"Boys and their antics," Tahlia and Artemis chorused, rolling their eyes. Artemis smiled down at her Lieutenant who grunned back at her.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr Brunner said, "Mr Jackson."**

**I knew that was coming.**

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned to Mr Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go – intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Probably has," Hera chuckled.

"**You must learn the answer to my question,"Mr Brunner told me.**

"**About Titans?"**

**About real life. And how your studies applied to it."**

"**Oh."**

Everyone laughed.

"Oh?" Annabeth repeated, "That's the best he can come up with?"

"Of course, he's Kelp Head, isn't he?" Thalia said, between her laughs.

"You're right. His brain is full of seaweed. Why am I not surprised, Seaweed Brain?"

Jason asked, "Why do you guys keep calling Percy 'Seaweed Brain' and 'Kelp Head'?"

"Because his brain is full of kelp and is made of seaweed," Thalia answered jokingly.

Everyone but Poseidon laughed.

Zeus and Hades both looked at Poseidon then at each other and bursted out in laughter again causing them to get hit in the face with saltwater, which made them cease their laughter. Everyone just glanced at the three brothers, two had dripping wet faces and one looked like an angry whale, as funny as it looks no one decided to laugh at them since Poseidon looked he's going drown them all in a tank full of saltwater with only each other and fish for company.

Chiron took the opportunity to continue.

"**What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I expect only the best from you, Percy Jackson."**

**I wanted to get angry. This guy pushed me too hard.**

"Maybe I did pressure him a bit too much," Chiron said. "But I wanted him to be ready in case anything happens."

**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armour and shouted: "What ho?!"**

"What ho?" Apollo repeated.

Hermes said, "You're getting a bit too old-fashioned there, Chiron?"

The Stolls and Leo sang, "Oh... Chiron, you old centaur, you're getting too old for undercover work..." They continued singing until Piper, Katie and Lou slapped them on their heads repeatedly until they fell silent rubbing the back of their heads.

**and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped. But Mr Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I'm dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No – he didn't expect me to be as good, he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts much less spell them correctly.**

Everyone laughed.

**I mumbled something about trying harder, whle Mr Brunner took one look at the stele, like he'd been to this girl's funeral.**

"Probably has," Hestia said. The gods chuckled.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

Everyone heard a stomach grumble as soon as the word 'lunch' left Chiron's mouth. They all turned to look at the owner of the offending stomach: Grover.

"What? I'm hungry." Grover said indignantly.

"But we just ate breakfast, Goat Boy," Katie told him.

"I know, but I'm hungry."

"Well... then... You'll have to wait until lunch."

"Ok," Grover muttered.

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**

"Dad?" Jason asked curiously. "What were you and Uncle Poseidon fighting about?"

**"You'll see, son," Zeus answered while Poseidon grinned mysteriously. Jason groaned inwardly.**

**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's bag, and, of course, Mrs Dodds wasn't seeing anything.**

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school - the school from loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"Hey!" Grover yelled indignantly. "I'm not a loser freak!"

"No, you're not a loser freak," Thalia agreed. "But you are a goat." Grover huffed. Everyone laughed.

"Detention?" Grover asked.

"I would never give Percy a detention," Chiron told Poseidon.

"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean - I'm not a genius."

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

Everyone laughed at Grover's question.

"What's with you and food?" Lou asked between her laughs.

"I don't know," Grover shrugged. "Maybe because it's food."

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**

**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

"Wimp," Ares muttered aloud only to find himself soaked from head to toe with seaweed hanging down from his hair. He looked at Poseidon who was glaring at him. He shrank down in his throne trying to save himself from Poseidon's murderous glare. Everyone looked at the two relatives and started to laugh.

Once they all calmed down a bit, Chiron continued.

**Mr Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized café table.**

_I hadn't thought of it like that before_, Chiron thought.

**I was about to unwrap my when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front you of me with her ugly friends - I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing the tourists - and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**

Everyone laughed at description.

The Stolls yelled with laughter, "Nancy Bobadafeet has Cheetos dyed orange freckles." Katie and Lou slapped them across their faces, yelling, "SHUT UP!"

**I tried to stay cool. The school counsellor had told me a million times, 'Count to ten, get control of your temper.'**

"It never works," Apollo and Hermes sang together. Artemis hit them across the head with her bow.

**But I was so mad my mind went black. A wave roared in my ears.**

**I don't remember touching er, but the next thing I knew Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed!"**

**Mrs Dodds materialised next to us.**

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see -"**

**"- the water -"**

**"-like it grabbed her-"**

Poseidon grinned.

**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

"Again?" Poseidon asked. No one answered him. So he gestured Chiron to continue.

**As soon as Mrs Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, et., etc., Mrs Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now honey -"**

"Urgh..." Leo groaned. "She really should stop with the 'honey' thing." The demigods agreed with him.

**"I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing textbooks."**

"NO!" Hermes and the Stolls yelled."Rule number nine: NEVER guess your punishment." Hermes grinned down at his sons, looking proud.

"Why?" Hera asked.

"Because if you guess it it will be a lot worst," Hermes answered. Poseidon went, noticeably, pale.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"Obviously," Hermes muttered under his breath.

**"Come with me," Mrs Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. " It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believed he was trying to cover for me. Mrs Dodds scared Grover to death.**

**Grover nodded, looking petrified.**

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

**"I don't think so, Mr Underwood," she said.**

**"But -"**

**"You - **_**will**_** - stay here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. " Thanks for trying."**

"He's clueless, isn't he?" Athena said, ignoring Poseidon's glare. Annabeth nodded and Grover just grinned.

**"Honey," Mrs Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

"Urgh... Stop with the 'honey' thing," Leo groaned again. Piper petted him on his head like a dog.

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.**

Those who had seen Pery's stare shuddered, looking a bit scared.

**I then turned to face Mrs Dodds, but she wasn't there, She was standing at the museum entrance wasy at the top of the steps, gesturing impaitiently at me to come on.**

Will muttered under his breath, "A sign of a monster."

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counsellor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"Sure," Rachel said, sarcastically.

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs Dodds.**

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced his eyes between me and Mr Brunner, like he wanted Mr Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

"I've noticed," Chiron sighed to Grover.

**I looked up, Mrs Dodds had disppeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

_Of course not_, Grover thought.

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for, the gallery was empty.**

**Mrs Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. se was making this weird noise She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

"Another sign of a monster," Will muttered again, except this time the everyone heard.

"Monster?" Poseidon asked, looking worried. "What monster?"

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverise it...**

"No shit, Sherlock," Nico muttered sarcastically.

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

"Safe?" Zeus asked with a raised eyebrow.

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

The demigods, except for Jason, Piper and Leo and Rachel rolled their eyes.

Grover bleated under his breath, "As if."

**I said, "I'll - I'll try harder, ma'am."**

Everyone laughed.

"I'm not sure Percy knows what she's talking about," Hades laughed.

**Thunder shook the building.**

**"We are not fools, Per cy Jackson," Mrs Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

"Of course he didn't," Poseidon muttered. "He's only twelve."

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've foundthe illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.**

"He did?" the Stolls asked, looking very interested. "Why didn't he tell us?"

"Maybe, because he didn't want you two to pester him about it," Katie answered.

**Or maybe they realised I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and they were going to take away my grade.**

"That's not a good way to learn," Athena commented.

"Nerd," Ares said, then a flock of owls stared to attack him. "Ow, ow, ow. Stop it."

"I will have them stopped as soon as you apologised."

"Alright!" Ares yelped as an owl pecked him on the nose. "I'm sorry!" And immediately the owls stopped attacking him and flew off.

**Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"Really?" Annabeth said. "It's not that difficult to read a book, is it?"

"Of course not to you, Miss Princess," Clarisse retorted. "But to the rest of us it's like hell." Annabeth just ignored her and gestured to Chiron to continue.

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't…"**

**"Your time is up," she hissed. Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbeque coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shrivelled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

"HADES!"Poseidon yelled, standing up. "WHY DID YOU SEND A FURY AFTER MY SON?!" Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Artemis, Hermes and Demeter all stood up to hold stop Poseidon from vaporising Hades.

Hades who was cowering in his seat squeaked, "I thought he had it..."

"It?" Nico asked curiously.

**Then things got even stranger.**

"How can things get stranger when they're already strange?" Piper asked. No one bothered to answer her.

**Mre Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.**

"Riptide," Annabeth said fondly. Thalia smiled at her friend.

**"What ho, Percy!"**

"What ho?" Apollo and Hermes repeated. "Seriously Chiron?"

**he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**

**Mrs Dodds lunged at me.**

"Finally," Ares whooped, "some action."

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my hand, it wasn't a pen any more. It was a sword - Mr Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

**Mrs Dodds spun towards me with a muderous look in her eyes.**

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.**

**She snarled, "Die, honey!"**

"Urgh.. Just stop with the 'honey' thing already!" Leo groaned again this time the Stolls joined in. Everyone laughed.

**And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Yep," Thalia said sarcastically. "Very natural."

**The metal blade hit her shoulder passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. **_**Hisssss!**_

"Wow," said Jason, looking stunned.

**Mrs Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporised on the spot, leaveing nothing but the smell of sulphur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

**I was alone.**

**There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.**

**Mr Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hand were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

"Magic mushrooms?" Demeter asked. "There's no such thing."

"Your son has a very vivid imagination," Hera said, addressing Poseidon, who was smiling proudly.

**Had I imagined the whole thing?**

"No," everyone said as one.

**I went back outside.**

**It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountaing, a museum map tented over his head.**

"HAHAHAHA! LOL! Goat Boy is afraid of getting wet!" Thalia laughed teasingly at Grover.

"Shut up, Pinecone face," Grover muttered.

**Nancy Bobofit was still standing there soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friend. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs Kerr whipped your butt?"**

"Who?" Thalia said quizzically.

**I said, "Who?"**

"Damn it. I think like Kelp Head."

Everyone laughed.

**"Our teacher. **_**Duh!"**_

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about.**

**She just rolled her eyes and turned away. **

**I asked Grover where Mrs Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me,**

"Grover," Hermes said in a sad voice. "You need to learn how to lie a bit better."

"Dad, how about us two teach him how to lie?" Connor said indicating to Travis and himself.

Hermes grinned and said, "Of course, boys." Grover groaned and Annabeth and Thalia who're the closest to him grinned.

**so I thought he was messing with me.**

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious."**

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

**I saw Mr Brunner sitting under his re umbrella, reading his book as if he'd never moved.**

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr Jackson."**

**I hand it over. I hadn't even realised I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, " where's Mrs Dodds?"**

"You better know how to lie, Chiron? All otherwise I'll get my sons or myself to teach you how to lied," Hermes threatened.

Chiron ignored him and carried on reading.

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

**"The other chaperone. Mrs Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy there is no Mrs Dodds on this trip. As far as I know there has never been a Mrs Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"**

"Well," Hermes said, looking proud. "Looks like you don't need our help."

"That's the end of the chapter," Chiron announced. "Who wants to read next?"

"I will," Annabeth volunteered.

"_**Three Old Ladies Knit The Socks Of Death**_" Annabeth read.

**Please Review :D**


	3. Three Old Ladies with Old Socks

**A/N: Hey guys I'm back with a new chapter :D Though there's a bit of a downer since I'm not 100% sure if it fits into the guidelines so please tell me if it doesn't in this chapter because I want to make sure that my next chapter fits into the guidelines. Thanks :)**

**And please review at the end 'cos I'd love to here all your opinions :D**

_Chapter 2_

"_**Three Old Ladies Knit The Socks Of Death**_" Annabeth read.

"Three old ladies?" Zeus repeated. "Sounds like the fates."

"What's this about socks of death?" Hermes asked, with narrowed eyes.

"No idea," Grover answered, gesturing Annabeth to read.

**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. This 24/7 hallucination was more than I could handle.**

"You're not hallucinating, Percy," Poseidon said gently.

"Hey, you do realise that you're speaking to a book don't you, Barnacle Beard?" Athena asked. Poseidon flushed with embarrassment and gestured for Annabeth to continue.

**For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs Kerr - a perky blonde woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the trip - had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

"The Mist is really extraordinary, isn't it?" Chiron sighed. Everyone just shook their heads.

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**

"You're not a psycho," Annabeth said softly to herself.

**It got so I almost believed them - Mrs Dodds had never existed.**

**Almost.**

**But Grover couldn't fool me. When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.**

"You definitely need lying lessons, Grover," Hermes grinned. Grover groaned in his hands.

**Something was going on. Something had happened at the museum.**

**I didn't have much time to think about it duringthe days, but at night visions of Mrs Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**

"That's only the start, " Annabeth said."

"Meaning?" Poseidon asked.

"His dreams get worst."

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotter in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy.**

Zeus shot an apolegetic look at Poseidon who looked at him with a glare that said, that's the past so leave it.

**One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

"For the mortals' sake, Zeus, really?" Hera asked.

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs.**

"Wow..." Jason whistled.

"His head's definitely filled with kelp and his brain is definitely made of seaweed," Thalia said.

**I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.**

"That's not good," Athena said shaking her head.

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.**

"What does it mean?" Leo asked.

Piper answered, "A sot technically means someone who's drunk. So Percy technically called his English teacher an old drunk."

Everyone laughed.

**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy.**

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine.**

**I was homesick.**

"Wimp," Ares muttered under his breath so no one could hear.

**I wanted to be with my mum in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

"Gabe," Annabeth growled under her breath.

**And yet... there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees.**

"Pine trees?! Why on earth would he even mention pine trees before he went to camp?" Thalia asked. Annabeth and Grover grinned.

"You need to chill," Clarisse said.

"Why does she need to chill about pine trees?" Jason asked curiously.

Thalia sighed, "You'll see, little brother."

**I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**

"Thanks Pearce. I feel so loved," Grover grumbled.

**I'd miss Latin class too - Mr Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well.**

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only text I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"That's good," Chiron said.

**The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the **_**Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology**_** across my dorm room.**

Annabeth and Athena gasped, "That is not how you should treat a book."

"Dramatic much," Ares grumbled. Both Athena and Annabeth glared at him.

"Like mother, like daughter," Poseidon laughed, and the two turned their glares on him which he just grinned.

**Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember the differences between Chiron and Charon,**

"Well, at least he knows now," Will said.

**or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it.**

"It's easy though," Jason said.

"For you it is," Piper told him.

"What do you mean?"

"Little brother, you seemed to forget that we're all Greek here not Roman," Thalia sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Right, sorry," Jason apologised. The Greeks waved it off.

**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.**

"EWWWWW!" Aphrodite said.

**I remembered Mr Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes**_**. I will accept only the best from you**_**, **_**Percy Jackson**_**.**

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologise fot the big fat 'F' I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

"He didn't score an 'F'," Chiron said. "He scored a 'D'."

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, nut Mr Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hall way floor.**

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said, "… worried about Percy sir."**

**I froze.**

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper,**

"Sure he isn't," Katie and Lou said sarcastically.

**but I dare you to ry not listening if upu hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.**

"Fair enough," Lou said.

**I inched closer.**

"Well done Percy," the Stolls sang.

**"… alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the **_**school**_**! Now that we know for sure, and **_**they**_** know too -"**

**"We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr Brunner said. " We need the boy to mature more."**

**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline -"**

"Why is their a deadline?" Jason asked.

"What is the deadline for, Father?" Nico asked his Hades.

You'll see kiddo."

"Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can."

**"Sir, he **_**saw**_** her..."**

**"His imagination," Mr Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."**

"And that did not work too well," Grover said to Chiron.

Chiron nodded his head and told Annabeth to keep reading.

**"Sir, I... I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean."**

Jason, Piper and Leo looked curiously at Grover as if he was going to elaborate what he was talking about.

Grover gestured to the book looking a bit sad.

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next autumn -"**

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

"No!" Hermes yelled. "NEVER -"

"Give away -" Travis continued.

"Your position," Connor completed,

"Excellent boys," Hermes grinned at his sons. "Now that is Rule Number what in stealing?"

"Rule Number Two," the Stolls chorused.

"Precisely."

Everyone just glanced at the father and his sons and started laughing except for Artemis and Thalia who were muttering, "Boys."

Once everyone calmed down, Annabeth began to read again.

**Mr Brunner went silent.**

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.**

"Excellent!" Hermes grinned. "And why is that, boys?"

"Because you should -"

"NEVER leave any -"

"Evidence behind," the Stolls completed together, grinning at their father.

"And that is Rule Number..."

"THREE."

"Precisely."

Artemis and Thalia groaned into their hands, muttering one word (and guess what that word is) while the rest just laughed.

Annabeth calmed down enough to continue reading.

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like and archer's bow.**

"You do realise that you could've given away your position, don't you, Chiron?" Hera asked.

"I realised but I thought it was a monster," Chiron answered.

"I'm sure," Hera said sarcastically under her breath.

Chiron heard her but chose to ignore her and gestured to Annabeth to continue reading.

**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

"Good!" Hermes said. "Because you should NEVER -"

"Allow -"

"Yourself -"

"To be caught," the brothers said.

"Rule Number..."

"ONE."

"Precisely. Excellent work boys."

The Stolls grinned up at their father who was looking rather proud of himself.

Everyone just rolled their eyes, grinning except for Artemis and Thalia who were both glaring daggers at Hermes and his sons. Annabeth decided to read before Artemis and Tahlia both started to shoot arrows at them.

A few seconds later I heard a slow clop-clop-clop, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on.

Hera raised her eyebrow at Chiron who shrugged and told Annabeth to continue.

**A bead of sweat trickled down my neck.**

**Somewhere in the hallway,, Mr Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice."**

**"Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn..."**

"What happened at the winter solstice, Dad?" Jason asked.

"Nothing much, son. Just read and you'll find out."

**"Go back to the dorm," Mr Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

**"Don't emind me."**

"Hey Goat Boy," Clarisse said. "How many exams have you taken during your life?"

"Ummmm..." came the answer. "I don't actually know."

"Maybe because you've taken so many in the past that you've lost count?"

"Maybe."

"Are you serious?"Leo asked.

"Maybe."

"Dude. Stope with the 'maybe' thing."

Grover shrugged.

**The lights went out in Mr Brunner's office.**

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever.**

"Good!" Hermes grinned. "Now boys, tell us why it's good."

"Because you should always wait till -"

"No one's around before -"

"You make your move." (Guess who said that)

"And that is..."

"Rule Number Three."

"Nice work, kids."

Everyone groaned and Demeter said, "You do realise that that is getting old now?"

"No it isn't," the three grinned proudly only to find silver arrows heading towards them and landing on top of their heads where the wall is, which shut them up pretty well.

Artemis and Thalia grinned at each other looking proud at themselves while Apollo, Zeus and Jason stared at their daughter/sisters trying not to laugh though they're not the only one. All the others were trying hard not to laugh (except for Hermes and the Stolls who were looking slightly petrified).

Annabeth took a deep breath and continued to read before anyone could start laughing.

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.**

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

"Excellent!" Hermes and the Stolls whispered under their breath, so no one can hear. "Rule Number Six: Always look innocent."

**"Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?"**

**I didn't answer.**

**"You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?"**

**"Just... tired."**

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression, and started getting ready for bed.**

"You know," Dionysus said, "Satyrs doesn't read expressions but they can read emotions." Grover bleated as if to say _Mr D is right_.

"Have you actually been listening to every word that has been read?" Hephaestus asked. All the gods looked impressed.

"Nope. I've been reading this," Dionysus answered waving a wine magazine around. The gods groaned and shook their heads, thinking Of course he's reading a wine magazine. What else would he read.

I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing.

_Of course you would_, Annabeth thought. _You're Seaweed Brain_.

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr Brunner were talking about me behind me back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

"Of course he is," Chiron said, "he's one of the Big Three's child."

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam,**

"A three-hour exam?!" Leo asked incredulously. "No one can sit for that long."

"Maybe you can't, but other people can," Piper said.

"But still in a Latin exam!"

"Hey, what's wrong with Latin?!" Jason asked indignantly."

"Nothing."

Jason glared at Leo who was just grinning as if nothing happened.

**my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled,**

"That's not good," Athena commented.

**Mr Brunner called me back inside.**

**For a moment, I was worried he'd found about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.**

**"Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's... it's for the best."**

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips.**

"Gross!" All the males in the room said.

The females shuddered except for Aphrodite who looks like she's going to vomit.

**I mumbled, "Okay, sir."**

**"I mean..." Mr Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

**My eyes stung.**

"Awwww... Prissy wants to cry," Clarisse said receiving glares from Poseidon, Annabeth and Thalia.

"What a wimp," Ares said only to find himself choking on saltwater.

**Here was my favourite teacher,**

"Chiron, did you hear that?" Hestia asked, "you're his favourite teacher."

"So I'm Percy's favourite teacher at the school," Chiron said sadly.

"It's not just at the school," Grover told him. "It's also at camp as well."

Annabeth and Thalia nodded agreeing with Grover both looking sad. Chiron smiled at them with a sad smile.

Hestia noticed that they looked down and asked, "Why are you all looking so down?"

Will answered sadly, "If you don't mind Lad y Hestia, we'll tell you at lunch or dinner." Then he looked at Annabeth and asked her to continue.

**In front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out.**

**"Right," I said trembling.**

**"No, no," Mr Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say... you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be -"**

"What a way to tell the boy, Chiron?" Hera said.

Chiron said, "Well how was I supposed to tell him.

Hera shrugged.

**"Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me."**

**"Percy -"**

**But I was already gone.**

"You do realise that really hurt Percy?" Grover asked the old centaur.

"Yes, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Still."

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives or ambassadors of celebrities. I was a nobody from a family of nobodies.**

"You're not from a family of nobodies, Percy," Poseidon said.

"And he's not nobody either. Isn't it right Little Miss Princess?" Clarisse said. Grover and Annabeth grinned at the memory. Everyone else just looked on looking extremely confused.

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.**

"That's nice of them," Hestia said.

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the autumn.**

**"Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."**

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

"Oh... I take back what I said before," Hestia said.

The gods just laughed.

**The only person I dreaded saying goodbye to was Grover but, as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.**

**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.**

**Finally I couldn't stand it any more.**

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**

Everyone laughed.

"I bet that it scared the hell out of Grover," Will said.

"We bet three drachmas," The Stolls said. They were about to put their money down when Katie and Lou slapped them on the back of their heads.

"Who would want to bet something as stupid as that?" Rachel asked sarcastically.

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat, "What - what do you mean?"**

Everyone laughed at Grover's reaction to Percy causing Grover to turn as red as a tomato.

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr Brunner the night before the exam.**

Hermes were about to open his mouth when he caught sight of Artemis nocking an arrow onto her bow, so he decided to stay quiet.

The Stolls were about to do the same thing as their father when they noticed Thalia giving them her evil eye and was playing with an arrow and her bow, so they too decided to keep quiet.

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?"**

**"Oh... not much. What's the summer solstice deadline?"**

"What's this deadline they keep mentioning?" Lou asked.

No one bothered to answer her so she just said, "Go on Annabeth."

**He winced. "Look, Percy... I was just worried for you see? I mean, hallucinating about demon maths teachers..."**

**"Grover -"**

**"And I was telling Mr Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs Dodds, and..."**

**"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar."**

"Finally," Artemis sighed.

Grover blushed.

**His ears turned pink.**

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer."**

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like:**

Grover Underwood, Keeper

Half-Blood Hill

Long Island, New York

(800)009-0009

"Why is the card written in fancy script, Dionysus?" Aphrodite asked the wine god who was absorbed in his wine magazine.

"Hmmm..." Dionysus said. Then looking up he said, "Oh, I like to see them try to read it with their dyslexic eyes."

Everyone groaned.

**"What's Half -"**

**"Don't say it aloud! he yelped. "That's my, um... summer address."**

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.**

"I'm not rich," Grover grumbled under his breath. "I just needed to make something up so he won't shout it out all over the place."

**"Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."**

"Mansion?" Rachel asked, raising her eyebrow.

**He nodded. "Or... or if you need me."**

**"Why would I need you?"**

"That's a bit harsh," Demeter tutted.

**It came out harsher than I meant it to.**

"Well at least he admits that he has been harsh," Demeter tutted again.

Nico groaned inwardly and saw his father was face-palming.

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I - I kind of have to protect you."**

**I stared at him.**

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year with out me.**

"He lost sleep because of me?!" Grover cried.

**And here he was acting like he was the one who defended me.**

**"Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?"**

"Monsters," Katie answered.

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of highway.**

**After a few a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.**

**We were on a stretch of country road - no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.**

_Uh oh_, Grover thought.

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of blood-red cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice. There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**

"The Fates," Poseidon said, looking slightly pale though not as pale as Hermes who was noticeably pale.

The gods nodded.

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn.**

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.**

Poseidon became even more pale.

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching.**

**"Grover?" I said. "Hey, man -"**

**"Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, Aren't they?"**

**"Yeah. Weird, huh?" You think those socks would fit me?"**

Poseidon, Hermes, Apollo, Hephaestus along with Leo, the Stolls and Will laughed despite the **situation.**

**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."**

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors - gold and silver, long bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.**

Poseidon and Hermes paled again.

"They really should get back on the bus," Katie said nervously.

Everyone agreed with her.

**"We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."**

"You think like Goat Boy," Leo joked, earning slap from Piper.

"But the satyr is right," Athena said, "They should get back on the bus.

**"What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there."**

**"Come on!" He prised open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back.**

"Yes, Percy, listen to Grover," Poseidon said to the book."

"You're talking to a book, Barnacle beard," Athena said again.

"At least I talk to a book less than you," Poseidon smirked at her.

Annabeth decided to continue reading when her mum was about to say something to Poseidon.

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for - Sasquatch or Godzilla.**

Both Poseidon and Hermes became noticeably pale.

Then Zeus asked, "Is that his lifeline?"

Annabeth answered, "I don't really know but I think Percy figured it out after the Titan War."

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal our of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

**The passengers cheered.**

**"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"**

"Well at least they can leave now," Demeter commented.

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.**

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.**

**"Grover?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"What are you not telling me?"**

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?"**

**"You mean the old ladies? What is it about them man?" They're not like... Mrs Dodds, are they?"**

"They're worse," Dionysus said finally putting away his magazine and paying attention.

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw."**

**"The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

**He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost - older.**

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord."**

**"Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.**

"Of course it's a big deal," Thalia groaned. "That's like your lifeline or something."

**"This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time."**

As soon as this was read, both Annabeth and Thalia looked at Grover.

"You still blame yourself?" Thalia asked softly.

Grover nodded.

"What happened last time wasn't your fault, Grover. It was -"

"Last time?" Jason interrupted. "What happened last time?"

"You'll find out soon, bro."

**"What last time?"**

**"Always sixth grade. They mever get past sixth."**

**"Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"**

**"Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."**

"Yes, that way you'll be safe," Poseidon said to the book again.

This Athena didn't bother to tell him off. Instead she just rolled her eyes.

"**This seemed like a superstition or something?" I asked.**

**No answer.**

**"Grover - that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"**

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the king of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**

"That's the end of the chapter," Annabeth announced. "Who's next?"

Grover raised his hand up and said, "I'll read."

"Shotgun reading after Grover!" Thalia yelled.

"None of us were actually going to read so you didn't have to yell shotgun," Will said.

"Too bad," Thalia said giving him her evil eye which made him falter.

The gods looked down at their children and smiled.

Annabeth handed the book to Grover who read out the chapter name, "_**Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Trousers**_."


End file.
